An Interesting Conversation With A Stranger

A couple weeks ago, as I made my way to the ATM in my office building, I ran into a coworker that had transferred into another department sometime last year. I don't see much of her anymore, which was always okay with me, because our work relationship had never gone past first base (i.e., inane chatter). We didn't have much to talk about because we didn't have anything in common.

For some reason this day, she seemed particularly keen to talk to me. Instead of the usual "Hi, how are ya, okay, bye now" that we usually exchange, she asked me about my husband. She asked me how I was enjoying married life (I love it, by the way), and after we talked about that for a few minutes, she lowered her voice to a whisper and asked me if we were thinking about having any children.

I get asked this question a lot, and I usually just shrug it off and say something noncommital like, "Dunno." But the question is often asked loudly, jovially, and I find it annoying that so many strangers are so interested in my sex life (let's face it, before a natural conception, that's what it is), so I don't take it seriously. But she wasn't loud, and she wasn't pushy; in fact, she seemed a little timid, as though she realized that she really was asking a very personal question and she was afraid that she might offend me. And I guess that's why I told her the truth.

"We're trying to conceive," I whispered back. "I was pregnant last year, but I miscarried."

"I'm so sorry," she said. "I miscarried my first pregnancy before I had my son."

And just like that, we soared past first and second base and ran all the way to third (sharing intimate information). We talked about our miscarriages, we talked about how we felt when we found out, we talked about the visible way our OB/GYNs shifted gears when the ultrasounds revealed no heartbeat, we talked about how our husbands mourned with us but not on the same level as us, we talked about the nurse at my job and how we cried in her office after returning to work. We talked about bleeding and uterine contractions. We talked about how you can tell the difference between women who have never suffered a loss and those who have. We talked about everything. At one point she started to tear up, and I kind of wanted to hug her, but I wasn't quite ready to take that next step to home base. And soon the conversation was over and we went our separate ways again.

I couldn't stop thinking about it afterwards. It was just so intimate and unexpected, and I didn't know how to feel and I guess I still don't know how I feel. But I am glad that it happened. I still sometimes feel very lonely, being the only one of my friends that has ever been pregnant and/or miscarried; not everyone can understand what it's like to lose something so dear that, as far as the everyday world is concerned, never existed in the first place. But I found a brief connection with a woman that I hardly even know; and it was a comfort.

............

Don't forget to try out my True or False quiz. So far we've got four contestants, and due to participant complaints (I'm looking at you, Nic) the prize has been upgraded from an invisible handshake to an invisible puppy. Leave your answers in the comments below.

Yay or Nay?

1. Pregnant women are recommended to forgo eating hot dogs.
2. The youngest mother on record was five years old.
3. Some women have experienced orgasm while giving birth.
4. A woman cannot get pregnant if she is breastfeeding.
5. Pregnant women should double their caloric intake.

I'll be posting the answers on Sunday!