Midwife Me!

I've decided against calling Doctor D. I did like her demeanor, and as receptive as I was to working with her while trying to conceive, I've since of fallen on the side of not wanting to work with an obstetrician for this pregnancy. Fortunately, my insurance covers nurse-midwives, and I've already called and made an appointment for January 14th with a highly recommended local practice.

I have trust issues with doctors as it is, and my last pregnancy sort of reinforced that. My last GYN seemed okay, until it became apparent that I had miscarried, at which point her attitude towards me and my situation became mechanical and almost stand-offish. After waking up from my D&C, one of the nurses became impatient with me and treated me as if I was purposely wasting her time because I was sobbing so hard that my heart rate stayed elevated. Experiences like that made me feel as if I was just a body (a lame body, at that) that had to be dealt with and not a woman in mourning.

This time, I want an experience that is more intimate and less clinical. I want to work with a woman who is empathetic, trustworthy, knowledgable, and LISTENS to me. I also want minimal intervention with this pregnancy.

Has anyone hear had experience with a midwife (or know someone else who has)? I'd like to know how you felt about it and whether you would do it again. If you chose not to use a midwife, I'd like to know why. I'm not entirely decided and I'd love it if you shared your experiences and concerns with me!

Dr. D And Why I Think I Might Keep Her

My pre-conception appointment went much as I expected. She told me to relax, take my vitamins, and to call her if I wasn't pregnant by January (which is a mere 3 cycles away), or to call if I do get pregnant before January. I had blood drawn to test my immunity to Rubella and Toxo among other things, and to screen for sickle cell anemia.

The place was small, quiet, and pleasant. Classical music played softly from somewhere behind the receptionists' desk. The waiting room was full of pamplets and 90% of the magazines were child or parenting related, but there was also Time, so that was something. The nurse and receptionist were both very kind and easy to work with. The doctor was soft-spoken (in a gentle way; not in a nervous way like my primary care physician - he always seems like he's on the edge of a nervous breakdown) and took care to fully explain her professional opinion to me rather than just bossing me around.

This may sound kind of sad, but what I liked best about the whole experience was the exam room. There was a poster about BMI on the door, and a poster about eating healthy and another one about menopause on the wall next to the table. There were pamphlets everywhere about safe sex and menopause and all sorts of things relating to women's sexual health. There were no pictures of babies. There were no posters of developing fetuses. It was unlike any other OB/GYN exam room in that there was nothing there to remind me of my loss. It was a relief.

Dr. D invited me into her office before and after my exam, which happens to be where she keeps all of the pregnancy-related pamplets and information. I wondered if it was deliberate and what her reasons were. In any case, it was refreshing to visit an OB/GYN and not walk out of the office depressed, anxious, and let down.

Hopefully this is the start of a beautiful relationship.