Anyway, I'm taking the time to write this now. I'm vehemently pro-choice (as is my husband), and still am, and a couple of my not-so-pro-choice friends seem to find this a tad contradictory. I've been asked whether I think my views will change after all this; I don't think so. If anything, now that I am where I am (6w4d, yay!), my assertion that no woman or girl should be forced to endure pregnancy and childbirth against her will has been strengthened.
My body has been changing, and most of those changes have been not so fun, even though I've only been experiencing very mild symptoms so far. I've been reading about the changes that are yet to come, and about the trial that is childbirth, and I've gotta say that I absolutely cannot imagine what it would be like to go through this if I didn't want to. That reality seems absolutely horrific to me, and to force anyone to endure it against their will is barbaric. And I'm one of the lucky ones, with my mild symptoms and good money and eager father-to-be and health insurance. This shit is hard. This shit is scary. This shit will change me forever. And because of that, it needs to be entirely voluntary.
I've also received comments from my friends when I refer to the little stowaway as my baby. They've been quick to interject, "It's not a baby, it's a parasite/embryo, remember?" Right. I've said before and I'll say again that I believe that every woman has the right to define her own pregnancy. Developmentally, an embryo is an embryo; a fetus is a fetus; a baby is a baby; a child is a child; an adult is an adult; and a cat is a cat. These things are what they are, and nothing but time can change that (although the cat stands a pretty good chance of always being a cat).
But when it comes to developing relationships, that is utterly objective, and no one but the woman whose body is currently being held hostage has the right to define this relationship, if she chooses to have one. Thus, even though an embryo is an embryo, my husband is a man, and my cat is a cat, my relationships with them as I've defined them gives me the freedom to call each and every one of them my baby. It's a term of endearment that I've assigned to the focus of my various relationships (hell, plenty of people even refer to their cars as babies), and I find nothing strange nor contradictory about using it.
I'm excited about this pregnancy, as I have the right to be, and I'm excited about the relationship I've chosen to have with the embryo in my body, and I'm excited about being a mom sometime next year. And I support every woman and girl's right to decide the same way...or not. It's that simple.
2 comments:
I don't think choice, nor life, is in any way simple.
I agree, if you choose to call the "parasite" a baby based on your relationship and as a term of endearment, it's groovy. I was just curious about the juxtaposition between actually viewing it as a baby instead of a parasite. It can't be both,
I still feel pretty strongly that if you don't want a baby, don't fuck around (and that goes for teenage couples too - "I was hormonal" is not a good enough excuse for me) - there is some choice invovled. That being said, there are cases where the woman ISN'T fucking around (forced sex, etc.). And even if she is, there are cases (like when the baby won't live anyway, like we talked about the other night) when it might make sense. And a million cases in between.
For me, as I've said before, my personal struggle comes from the idea that if I believe abortion is wrong sometimes - what makes it wrong? And if it's because of the start of life -- how can it ever NOT be wrong? So I'll continue to struggle because even though I can comprehend the points you make about mother's rights, I also think about the idea of life.
We don't need to get into all of it again... we have before. When I asked the other night, it was purely out of curiosity. And I did not realize that you were using a term of endearment to refer to your pregnancy until I read this entry.
"And I did not realize that you were using a term of endearment to refer to your pregnancy until I read this entry."
Ah, that's where the disconnect is, then. I didn't think you were being anything but curious the other night, but I wanted to set things straight, I guess.
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