An Interesting Conversation With A Stranger

A couple weeks ago, as I made my way to the ATM in my office building, I ran into a coworker that had transferred into another department sometime last year. I don't see much of her anymore, which was always okay with me, because our work relationship had never gone past first base (i.e., inane chatter). We didn't have much to talk about because we didn't have anything in common.

For some reason this day, she seemed particularly keen to talk to me. Instead of the usual "Hi, how are ya, okay, bye now" that we usually exchange, she asked me about my husband. She asked me how I was enjoying married life (I love it, by the way), and after we talked about that for a few minutes, she lowered her voice to a whisper and asked me if we were thinking about having any children.

I get asked this question a lot, and I usually just shrug it off and say something noncommital like, "Dunno." But the question is often asked loudly, jovially, and I find it annoying that so many strangers are so interested in my sex life (let's face it, before a natural conception, that's what it is), so I don't take it seriously. But she wasn't loud, and she wasn't pushy; in fact, she seemed a little timid, as though she realized that she really was asking a very personal question and she was afraid that she might offend me. And I guess that's why I told her the truth.

"We're trying to conceive," I whispered back. "I was pregnant last year, but I miscarried."

"I'm so sorry," she said. "I miscarried my first pregnancy before I had my son."

And just like that, we soared past first and second base and ran all the way to third (sharing intimate information). We talked about our miscarriages, we talked about how we felt when we found out, we talked about the visible way our OB/GYNs shifted gears when the ultrasounds revealed no heartbeat, we talked about how our husbands mourned with us but not on the same level as us, we talked about the nurse at my job and how we cried in her office after returning to work. We talked about bleeding and uterine contractions. We talked about how you can tell the difference between women who have never suffered a loss and those who have. We talked about everything. At one point she started to tear up, and I kind of wanted to hug her, but I wasn't quite ready to take that next step to home base. And soon the conversation was over and we went our separate ways again.

I couldn't stop thinking about it afterwards. It was just so intimate and unexpected, and I didn't know how to feel and I guess I still don't know how I feel. But I am glad that it happened. I still sometimes feel very lonely, being the only one of my friends that has ever been pregnant and/or miscarried; not everyone can understand what it's like to lose something so dear that, as far as the everyday world is concerned, never existed in the first place. But I found a brief connection with a woman that I hardly even know; and it was a comfort.

............

Don't forget to try out my True or False quiz. So far we've got four contestants, and due to participant complaints (I'm looking at you, Nic) the prize has been upgraded from an invisible handshake to an invisible puppy. Leave your answers in the comments below.

Yay or Nay?

1. Pregnant women are recommended to forgo eating hot dogs.
2. The youngest mother on record was five years old.
3. Some women have experienced orgasm while giving birth.
4. A woman cannot get pregnant if she is breastfeeding.
5. Pregnant women should double their caloric intake.

I'll be posting the answers on Sunday!

Pregnant Lady Quiz 1

Because I am a nerd and enjoy stuff like this, here's a simple true-or-false quiz. The prize for the person that scores highest is an invisible handshake from me (I know, I'm too kind).

Leave your answers in the comments section. You could cheat and use Google, but then you wouldn't want to taint your victory with the bitter taste of deception, would you?

Yay or Nay?

1. Pregnant women are recommended to forgo eating hot dogs.
2. The youngest mother on record was five years old.
3. Some women have experienced orgasm while giving birth.
4. A woman cannot get pregnant if she is breastfeeding.
5. Pregnant women should double their caloric intake.

I'll go over the answers in a few days. In the meantime, enjoy!

The Busy Bee

I've resigned myself to another month without pregnancy. My due date, August 9th, is fast approaching, and I'll have no child to show for it when it does. Depressing is not the word for it.

In more pleasant news, I've been working hard on a couple of projects (this blog being one of them) which are keeping me delightfully busy and productive. Which is good, because otherwise I'd just spend all day playing topless Guitar Hero (I like to rock out with my, er, boobs out), trying to speak Cat to my dear furry ones, and licking my finger and then touching my husband with it. He hates that for some reason, despite the fact that it's freaking hilarious.

Also, I just realized that there is a typo in my poll. Unfortunately, Blogger won't let me fix it since people have already started voting. The Grammar Banshee inside me weeps.

TTC: Cycle 2

Verdict: Failure.
Future Prospects: Hopeful.

I actually feel pretty ill today, so I'm staying home and drinking plenty of water (not soda, which I practically overdosed on over the weekend) and resting. And so begins another cycle.

There's a new poll up, so get your votes in! I got a whopping 27 votes in the last one and here's the breakdown:

If you had a choice, how would you prefer to reproduce?

Sexual reproduction. Awwww yeah.	15 (55%)
Asexual reproduction. The other methods are too messy and I kinda like these pants.	5 (18%)
Oviparous reproduction. I like eggs from my head down to my ovipositors.	3 (11%)
Give me clones!	4 (14%)

Also, I would like to apologize to all of my email subscribers for yesterday's "test" post. Blogger was doing some funny things and in the course of my experimentation, I forgot that a copy would be sent to my readers. I swear on the pile of snow-white pee sticks under the bathroom sink that it won't happen again.

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...

There's no sign of my period, yet the sticks are still coming up negative. Ridiculous!

The poll closes tonight, so get your votes in! I am honestly shocked that no one thus far has selected oviparous reproduction. Who doesn't like eggs???

Education Is The Key To Informed Reproductive Choice

Thank you everyone who commented on Thursday's post. I was rather pleasantly surprised by the overwhelmingly positive response! In the future I'll be addressing a question posed to me about fetal homicide laws; any other questions or comments are very much encouraged (and if you'd rather not make your comments public, you can always forward them to me here.)

Also, I've decided to add a little something else to this blog. In addition to the cat pictures, complaints, and the occasional venture into controversy, I will be using this blog to educate myself and others. One of the things I've realized since my pregnancy is that there is absolutely no shortage of misinformation about reproduction (both male and female roles), pregnancy, birth, and everything that comes afterward.

I am by no means an expert in these things, and my limited experience doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things. Every woman's body, pregnancy, and birth experience is unique to her, so I certainly can't speak for everyone. But I do enjoy hunting for information and learning more about pregnancy and birth, and you, my dear friends and readers, will be coming along for the ride.

Happy Birthday!

This post is for my dearest friend, who is celebrating her birthday somewhere on the West Coast today. I love you lady!

Other July 26 birthdays of note:

• Liberia gained its independence in 1847
  
• The infamous psychologist Carl Jung was born in 1875
• Aldous Huxley, the author of the dystopian Brave New World was born in 1894
• The Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 was signed into law

Huzzah!