Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Pregnant Lady Quiz 3: Twins!

It's quiz time again! This month's prize is a jingle. No, seriously. I'm going to write a little ditty about this month's winner and put it up on YouTube, just for you. As always, we use the honor system around here. Just say no to Google. I'll go over the answers in a week. Leave your answers in the comments below.

Here are this month's True or False questions:

Yay or Nay?

1. Approximately one third of all twins are identical.
2. The longest span of time between the birth of twins in a single pregnancy is 5 days.
3. 70% of all conjoined twins are male.
4. It is possible for a woman to naturally conceive twins by two different men.
5. As many as 1 in 8 pregnancies start out as twins.
If you missed them, here are the links to the Pregnant Lady Quizzes of yestermonth:

Pregnant Lady Quiz 1
Pregnant Lady Quiz 2

And their answers:

5 Things You Didn't Know About Pregnancy
5 Things You Didn't Know About Pregnancy (II)

Monday, September 29, 2008

The Cute, You Cannot Resist It

Seriously, is this little lady beautiful or what?

Sega is hiding from the world!
Channel surfing with the kitten
Surprise! Cat in a box!
Somehow she's not fazed by her big brother's foot resting right on her face.
Don't mess with kittens. They will mess you up.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Dodging, Ducking, Weaving

We had our first dodgeball match last night and I actually did pretty okay! Marcus came to cheer me on and soothe my nerves (I know, I know, it's pathetic to be nervous about a game of dodgeball, but I was always the kid that was lousy at sports), and on more than one occassion I looked up to see him absolutely cracking up at my smooth moves.

There were more than a few dramatic moments; at one point I even fell on the ground near the front line while three guys approached menacingly with their balls drawn (ha!). Through some miracle that I like to call You Throw Like A Toddler, all of them managed to miss me completely even though I was lying defenseless on the ground just meters away. I also managed to be the last woman standing in 3 or 4 games, and I even got a few people out. All in all, I wasn't too shabby.

I'm looking forward to next week's game! Marcus is going to bring the camcorder next time, so hopefully I'll have some amusing footage to share with ya'll next Friday.

Today is not a bad day. Marcus is coming to have lunch with me, which always makes my workday a little shorter. My weekend is full for a change; I've got a bridal shower to attend and a ton of cleaning to do to prepare for the post-anniversary party we're throwing next weekend.

Tell me, friends: Were you any good at sports when you were young? Which ones did you love and which ones did you hate (and why)?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Party Never Stops In The Pee-pee Teepee

Jaunty Santa hats? Or sensible little tents for your son's unpredictable penis? You be the judge!



From the makers of this wonderful wiener hut:
The Pee-pee Teepee™ Poem
Changing a baby girl is not all glitz and glory;
Changing a baby boy is an even bigger horror story.
You hold his feet in one hand, and the diaper in the other;
The whole time praying, "Please don't pee on your mother!"
The Pee-Pee Teepee is a work of innovation created to protect fearful parents from their young son's indiscriminate penis. I've changed enough diapers to believe that such a product would be more or less useless, as little boys are so eager to grope themselves at the first opportunity and would therefore send the tent flying to the ground (or towards an eager toothless maw) instantly. But really, what do I know?

I do have to admit that the pic at the top of the home page is kind of adorable, albeit silly.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Perhaps Things Are Not As They Seem

After being surprised by last month's cycle (which ended two days earlier than expected) and being downright baffled by this last cycle (three whole days?!!), I decided to re-examine my assumptions. While it would seem that my luteal phase - the progesterone-dominated phase of the menstrual cycle between ovulation and menses - is suddenly shortening, the fact is that LPs don't often vary in length by more than a day, if at all. For me to suddenly go from having a 14 day LP to an 11 day LP is ridiculously unlikely.

What's probably happening, which I am loathe to admit (even though it's the least ominous possibility), is that my LP is normal and that I've been ovulating earlier than my chart indicates. If I count back 14 days from the end of my last cycle, that puts my actual ovulation at cycle day 12 instead of 15 - meaning that our timing for sex was actually really very awful this past month, with one encounter happening 3 days before ovulation and one on the day after. Ouch.

Fertility Friend's own FAQ confirms my suspicion:
The luteal phase (the time between ovulation and menstruation) does not usually vary much from cycle to cycle, while the follicular phase (the time between menstruation and ovulation) can vary considerably. A variance of more than a day or two in your luteal phase usually means that ovulation may have occurred earlier or later than your chart indicates on one or more cycles and you may need to make some adjustments to your charts.
So, there you have it. It's a bit frustrating to think that there was probably little to no chance of success in the last two cycles due to our poor timing, especially considering the money and energy wasted on testing. But I prefer failure due to a human/software error over an actual biological deficiency any day of the week.

On the plus side, I still get to participate in the first four weeks of dodgeball season. Go, balls, go!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

TTC: Cycle 4

Verdict: Failure.
Future Prospects: ...

My period showed up 3 whole days early this time, which is unheard of. My luteal phase was only 11 days long. I don't even know what to say about this. I just really don't know what to say.

Trying to Conceive: Chart 4

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Babies In Beijing - Poisoned?!

I already have every intention of breastfeeding my future children if at all possible, and here is yet another reason to motivate me: Formula, like any other commercial product, is subject to quality oversights within the industry. I want to breastfeed for the same reason that I prefer to cook (and eventually, grow) my own food: because I know where it's been.

Remember that awful scare when melamine got into various pet foods and thousands of cats and dogs were sickened or even died because of it? Yeah, well it happened again, only this time the melamine was deliberately added to infant formula, and three babies have already died and over a thousand more are suffering.
China's largest producer of milk, Mengniu Dairy Group, announced the recall of three batches of formula made in January after tests showed they were contaminated with melamine, said Li Changjiang, China's director of quarantine and inspection.

Though it should not be added to food ingredients, suppliers in China sometimes put it in food to make a product appear to be protein rich. Melamine has nitrogen, and standard tests for protein in bulk food ingredients measure levels of nitrogen.

More than 1,300 infants are hospitalized with illnesses including malnutrition, kidney stones and acute renal failure.
Apparently the formula was watered down by the manufacturers to save money, then melamine was added to the diluted formula so that it could pass quality checks for protein. The two men who contaminated the formula are facing the possibility of execution.

I'd like to think that such a severe quality failure with such serious repercussions wouldn't happen in the US, but I work in Quality Assurance myself. No system is perfect, and one person can perfectly fuck shit up on a massive level with just a little bit of carelessness. The more control I have over what is going into my infant's stomach, the happier and less anxious I will be.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A Sobering Reality

In the short amount of time since my Little Green Kitten post, two of the women I know have already lost their pregnancies.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

A [Not So] Brief History Of Passion

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted badly to be a mother. Some little girls want to be dancers when they grow up, some little girls want to be revolutionists, some little girls want to be Mensans, and some little girls want to be the best athlete/writer/doctor/fire fighter that they can be. I wanted to be quite a few of these things at one time or another as a child; but I changed my mind about as often as I changed the barrettes in my hair. The one thing I never changed my mind about or doubted was that I wanted to be a mother. There was no doubt about that, ever.

Like many teens, I became sexually active while still in high school. Unlike enough teens (unfortunately) I immediately took responsibility of my sexuality; weeks after losing my virginity, I started on the pill (and stayed on it for almost a decade). I made my appointments for Pap smears and STD screenings every 6 months, and I did all that I could to help my friends do the same. I helped a few of my peers make appointments with the clinic and then drove them there; I compiled all the information I could find about safe sex, pregnancy symptoms, and STDs on inconspicuously labeled floppy disks (remember those?) and distributed them to my friends; I took as many condoms from the free clinic as I was allowed and gave them out to anyone who asked; and I even showed a friend the proper way to put on a condom using an empty wine bottle as a prop. I was known among my friends as the go-to girl for information and advice about safe sex. I would help anyone that needed help, and I would do it without judgment.

I always practiced what I preached, but as I got older and entered committed relationships that I thought would last forever (I'm grateful that they did not, and my husband might be too), a little voice inside my head started to complain. She was getting a bit antsy, with all this sex and none of the pregnancy. But she understood that the time was not right, and it would not be fair to me or any child I had to jump the gun. I wanted badly to become a mom, but I did not want to be a teen mom.

College was more difficult. By then the little voice was not quite as impatient, as I was in a long-term relationship that I was pretty sure would end in marriage [Insert silent prayer of thanks here for that relationship's dismal failure], but she was starting to become paranoid. What if something were not right with me? How could I be sure that I was capable of pregnancy? How could I be sure that I would not have a miscarriage someday?

Back then, miscarriage was a bogeyman to me. It was this beast that lurked deep in my mind, and I was sure that if I ever saw its face, I would not survive the encounter. I had the naive privilege back then of believing that miscarriages were these rare anomalies that only happened to women that had something wrong with them. It terrified me.

In my early twenties, that voice once again began to get impatient. I was not a child anymore, I was not a teenager, but the situation was still not right, dammit! My boyfriend was dragging his feet on the marriage thing (praise Zeus!), and as I started to realize that our relationship was a mess that could not be salvaged (which happened around the time that I realized that his drinking habits were like not your typical college binge drinker, but much more insidious), that little voice inside started to despair. Nothing was happening like I always thought that it would. I had waited, patiently, and the time was still not right.

Surprisingly, less than a year after breaking up with the alcoholic, I met an amazing man. He was so amazing that I broke my vow to be single for a while so that we could date. So amazing that we were married less than a year after we met (on a Tuesday!). So amazing that even though he snores and hogs the bed at night, I love him with all my anxious little heart.

Anyway, after I got married, the little voice inside that for years had only whispered and whined started to yell. I wanted to start trying within a year of our wedding. He wanted to start trying significantly later. It was something we fought about regularly - the only thing we really fought about. When we bought a house of our own, that little voice evolved into a full-fledged banshee. We finally came to an agreement; we would start trying after Christmas.

I got pregnant in November, a month before we were supposed to start trying. I can't really call it an accident, as we had gotten lazy with the condoms (but if you can't have spontaneous unprotected sex with your spouse, then who can you do it with?), and I would never call it a mistake. But it was unplanned. And intensely joyful. And entirely too short.

About a month or two after the loss, I encountered a feeling that I had never once imagined possible. I did not want to be pregnant. I was terrified of the very thought. And rather than being a relief, it was devastating. My one faithful desire, the only thing I have ever been sure of in my life...was gone. I was unsure. I didn't know who I was without it.

This might all seem a bit silly. But everyone has their passions, and while there are people who would be quick to dismiss mine because it's "only" motherhood, I can assure you that the passion I have always had for being a mother is just as valid, just as alive and organic, as some people's passion for music. Some people have a talent for dancing, and they need to dance to be happy. I have a talent with children, and all I've ever wanted to do was raise a couple of my own.

Time healed my uncertainty. It may have happened gradually, but it sure didn't feel that way. One moment I didn't know what I wanted; five minutes later, after listening to this song for the millionth time and having yet another good cry, I did. It was an astonishing relief.

And now here I am. For better or for worse, I suppose.

------------------

My chart looks a little different this cycle. I'm on CD8 and today is my highest temp of the cycle so far, and hopefully it just continues upwards. On my other failed cycles, my temperature peaked at CD5 or CD6 and then it was all downhill from there, tanking around CD9 or CD10. It might not mean anything, but then again, it might. It's different. I know what my chart is supposed to look like and this one has just been different, even pre-ov. Hopefully different means good.

I'm waiting until Saturday morning, when I'm on CD12, to test. I have a date with the stick after my daily romantic interlude with my thermometer. And I'm nervous. I hate seeing those stark white negatives. I hate wishing to see something that will not be there. I hate thinking Yes? and being consistently told No.

I hate putting my hand on my stomach and wondering, Are you there? and being told, time and time again, There is no one here with you.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Ugh

My stomach is upset. I really, really would rather not go into work, but I might be in enough trouble as it is since I was supposed to come in for an hour or two over the weekend and I did not. I haven't been feeling well the past couple of days (hence the lack of posts, my apologies). I've been antisocial and stand-offish (I didn't go a party that I had been really looking forward to). And this morning my stomach feels icky.

Marcus thinks that I'm pregnant, because I became antisocial and stand-offish the last time I was pregnant (hurray, hormone cocktail!). I think that it's too soon to tell. In any case, it's too soon to test.

But I am definitely queasy this morning. Blech.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Powerless

I had a terrifying experience last night. Marcus and I are temporarily sleeping on the futon in the living room until our new mattress and boxspring are delivered (we don't have a date yet, but hopefully next week). I woke up several times during the night due to the cats being absolutely delighted over our presence; I guess they thought we were having a sleepover.

Anyway, despite the fact that my slumber was being constantly interrupted by an overactive kitten, I found it quite easy to fall asleep almost instantly after each disturbance. After squirting the kitten with water yet again for pouncing on my feet, I closed my eyes and almost immediately started to dream - or at least kind of hallucinate. It was awful. I didn't see anything, but there was a threatening chorus of robotic voices loudly declaring something in my head (I don't remember what) and it was freaking me out, so I opened my eyes...

...and found that I could not move a muscle.

Holy crap, it was terrible. The dream-voices stopped the moment I opened my eyes. I could see the living room clearly enough by the light coming in from our front porch, and I could hear myself breathing very heavily, very panicky. I was awake. But I could not move. I was paralysed.

After a few long seconds I closed my eyes again, waited another second or two, and then jerked my arms violently. I was okay again.

I Googled it today and it seems that it was a random occurrence of sleep paralysis, which happens when you wake up, but your brain still thinks that you're asleep and so continues to shut off all or part of your voluntary motor function. It's not all that uncommon and can be accompanied by hallucinations like mine was.

That was not cool, brain. Not cool at all.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

An Upgrade In The Bedroom

I took the day off from work today, as I have the privilege of sitting around waiting for our new bedroom set to be delivered. It includes a nice little cherry sleigh bed - a considerable upgrade from our old set-up (a futon mattress on the floor...yeah) - a dresser, mirror, chest, and a couple of nightstands. The best part about it is the fact that it's all free, courtesy of my parents as a belated wedding gift!

Other than that, there's nothing much going on. I'm fairly sure that Fertility Friend is mistaken about my ovulation date, as my temperature has now skyrocketed and my normal post-O symptoms have made an appearance (the main one being that my nipples now hurt VERY badly). If it's wrong, it won't admit it for a few days; and if it doesn't admit it at all, I'll almost certainly do a manual override and change the date. It's a very useful software, but it does have its failings, and overall I trust myself more than I trust it.

In either case, I'm now in the next phase of my cycle: Resisting the Urge to Test Compulsively, which is significantly less exciting and also more expensive than the preceding phase, Boning Like Rabbits. Here we go again.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Fertility Friend And I

If the Fertility Friend software were able to communicate intelligently, this is what an AIM conversation between us would look like today:
augustdreamt: my temperatures for the past several days have been weird. usually my pre-ovulation temps are all over the place, but instead they've been steadily rising
fertilityfriend: hey that is weird. what was ur temp this morning?
augustdreamt: it was high
augustdreamt: 97.77
fertilityfriend: oh that explains it. u ovulated on friday
augustdreamt: what?
fertilityfriend: u ovulated. congrats!
augustdreamt: but you told me i wasn't due to O until monday!
fertilityfriend: u were 3 days early
augustdreamt: but we didn't have sex until saturday!
augustdreamt: seriously wtf?!
fertilityfriend: sucks to be u LOL
augustdreamt: :-(
fertilityfriend: hahahaha

Monday, September 8, 2008

Bad Dreams

Marcus doesn't have to work today, so I got up alone. As I was getting dressed, he mumbled sleepily, "How did you sleep?"

"I dreamt that my brother was dead."

He sat straight up in bed, suddenly awake. "So did I."

I looked at him. "How did he die?"

"He was shot."

I sat down on the bed with him, put a hand on his shoulder, kissed him. "I have to go to work," I said.

"How did he die in your dream?" he asked.

"I don't know. He was killed in the line of duty. I don't know any more than that."

..............

I'm in a bad mood. It's not the first time that I've dreamed about the death of someone I love, and I know it won't be the last time. But dreams like that just make me think about all of the fucked-up, terrible dreams I've had over the years. The ones that are much, much, much worse than the one I had last night. You wouldn't think that there COULD be a dream much worse than that of my little brother, a 22-year-old rookie cop, being murdered...but there are. Oh, yes.

Friday, September 5, 2008

5 Things You Didn't Know About Pregnancy (II)

Here are the answers to Pregnant Lady Quiz 2!

1. Nosebleeds are a symptom of early pregnancy.

True. I never heard of this particular symptom until I became pregnant myself; my nose frequently bled during my more violent bouts of morning sickness. Since a woman's blood volume expands during pregnancy, this can increase the pressure in the blood vessels in her nose, resulting in more frequent nosebleeds.

2. Semen contains an enzyme that can cause early labor.

Maybe. There seems to be some disagreement on this one. Semen does contain hormones called prostaglandins, which cause the cervix to soften and ripen for delivery, but whether or not exposure to semen is sufficient to start labor in a woman who was not otherwise ready for labor is debatable. This study suggests that semen may trigger labor in women who are already at term. Frequently, women who are already at-risk for pre-term labor may be advised against sex. But there doesn't seem to be any indication that a woman in a normally progressing low-risk pregnancy has any reason to fear semen causing her to go into labor before the baby is ready.

3. The oldest woman to give birth was 61 years old at the time of delivery.

False. The world's oldest mother (so far) is Omkari Panwar, pictured below, who gave birth to twins at age 70 earlier this year. Omkari and her husband, who was 77 years old at the time, already had two adult daughters, but were determined to have a son. They turned to IVF, paying for it with their life savings, their land, and their livestock. The twins, one boy and one girl, were born a month early.



4. The worldwide average of weaning a child from the breast is four years old.

That statement appears to be false. When I posited this question, I honestly thought that it was true. I've heard time and time again that the average age of weaning is 4.2 years old, and that this number was originally provided by the World Health Organization. Indeed, a quick Google search brings up plenty of websites that make the same statement...but I couldn't find anything from either WHO or UNICEF backing up the claim, only a multitude of third parties. In fact, I couldn't find any authority on breastfeeding backing those numbers.

Eventually, I came across the page of another blogger who had noticed the same thing in the course of her research. I also found an article on the natural age at which a child may wean herself from the breast, which has this to say about the 4.2 stat (emphasis mine):
One often hears that the worldwide average age of weaning is 4.2 years, but this figure is neither accurate nor meaningful. A survey of 64 "traditional" studies done prior to the 1940s showed a median duration of breastfeeding of about 2.8 years, but with some societies breastfeeding for much shorter, and some for much longer. It is meaningless, statistically, to speak of an average age of weaning worldwide, as so many children never nurse at all, or their mothers give up in the first few days, or at six weeks when they go back to work. It is true that there are still many societies in the world where children are routinely breastfed until the age of four or five years or older, and even in the United States, some children are nursed for this long and longer. In societies where children are allowed to nurse "as long as they want" they usually self-wean, with no arguments or emotional trauma, between 3 and 4 years of age.
It would appear that the oft-repeated 4.2 is indeed bunk (but if any of my readers can point me to a page where WHO or UNICEF actually make the claim, I'd seriously appreciate it!), and my efforts to look up what IS the worldwide average age of weaning was entirely fruitless, as 99% of the results come back to third parties claiming that "WHO reports that the age is 4.2." I'd like to be proven wrong on this one, but so far it looks quite false.

5. After the first trimester, amniotic fluid consists mostly of fetal urine.

It's true! Pregnant women are full of warm baby pee. The fetus doesn't just LIVE in pee; he breathes and swallows it too. Amniotic fluid is not only essential for development of a healthy digestive system and lungs, but it serves as a cushion in case the wobbly mama-to-be happens to fall on her belly (or otherwise injure herself).

The winner of this month's quiz is Chole, who has won herself an invisible Great Dane, as well as this haiku:
Homeless puppies and
hurt kittens will remember
your warm, loving care.
And, because I feel generous, here's a bonus haiku!
Fingers fly over
plastic rainbow keys. You are
my Guitar Hero.
Thank you BerlinBear, Tigerwong, Kat, and the Broken Man for participating!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

The Little Green Kitten

Jealousy.

It's not with me nearly as frequently as it used to be. I'm not nearly as bitter as I was in the months after my miscarriage (though I'd be a liar if I claimed to be 100% bitterness free). But several of my friends and acquaintances seem to have fallen pregnant at the same time. One of my friends decided to start trying for a baby with her husband about 3 weeks ago...and now she is pregnant. Just like that!

Egads. I know that I've got no business whinging when it's only been a few months, but still...I just can't help but be a little jealous. I'm genuinely happy for my friends, I am. But I'm not going to lie about being a little envious as well.

I've tried something new over the past few weeks. I haven't been hiding my miscarriage, as if it were something to be ashamed of. If I'm talking to someone (who may or may not already know about it) and it becomes relevant to the conversation...I just talk about it. I talk about being pregnant. I talk about having miscarried. I talk about wanting children. As if it were normal, everyday conversation.

And I've found that people have responded. Not in the way that they used to, by averting their eyes, or changing the subject, or looking so uncomfortable and lost. But they've actually responded, and tried to relate to me even though I can tell they don't really know how.

When I hide my feelings about my loss, so do others. And when I step forward and open up about it, so do they.

............

Today is the last day to take a shot at Pregnant Lady Quiz 2. I'll be posting the answers tomorrow!

Yay or Nay?

1. Nosebleeds are a symptom of early pregnancy.
2. Semen contains an enzyme that can cause early labor.
3. The oldest woman to give birth was 61 years old at the time of delivery.
4. The worldwide average of weaning a child from the breast is four years old.
5. After the first trimester, amniotic fluid consists mostly of fetal urine.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Team Sports Are Good For TTC...Maybe?

My busy life just got even busier, thanks to my recent amazing feat of...accidentally signing up for a dodgeball team.

You read that right.

A few weeks ago, a friend was telling me about an adult social league that was getting started in the fall, and I told him that I was interested. He asked me for my email address, I gave it to him, and I soon started receiving mass emails from the organizers of the league. I didn't actually read any of the emails, as I hadn't made up my mind on whether or not I was going to join, until today. And today's email had a roster in it - with not just my name, but my t-shirt size on the list. I guess there was a miscommunication.

So I guess my mind has been made up for me, which I don't really mind because - well, it's dodgeball! And I'd love to play! If I happen to get pregnant before the 8 week season ends, I suppose I'll have to ask my doctor if playing dodgeball with slightly tipsy folks is on the long, long list of things that pregnant ladies are supposed to avoid. (Who am I kidding? It almost certainly is.)

P.S. I just realized that the title for this post could be interpreted to mean that the act of trying to conceive can be a team sport. Naturally, that's not what I meant, but it amuses me so I'm keeping it.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Just Learning To Walk? Wear A Helmet!

The pics are adorable, but really, is it necessary?



Introducing Thudguard: The answer to all of your infant rugby needs.



............

For those of you who didn't see the post over the weekend, there's a new True or False Pregnant Lady Quiz. The winner gets an invisible puppy and a haiku!

Yay or Nay?

1. Nosebleeds are a symptom of early pregnancy.
2. Semen contains an enzyme that can cause early labor.
3. The oldest woman to give birth was 61 years old at the time of delivery.
4. The worldwide average of weaning a child from the breast is four years old.
5. After the first trimester, amniotic fluid consists mostly of fetal urine.

I'll be going over the answers on Friday!

Monday, September 1, 2008

Sarah Palin's Vagina: To Whom Does It Belong?

I originally had absolutely no intention of delving into this, but the topic of Babygate, as it's being called, is exploding all over the Internet. The rumor is that Sarah Palin's youngest child, Trig, is actually her grandchild. Fingers are pointing to Sarah's teenaged daughter Bristol as being the mother of the boy, claiming that Sarah faked her pregnancy in order to cover up the fact that her unmarried minor child had a baby.

Now, I'm no fan of Sarah Palin. I'm a sex-positive feminist, which means that my values are pretty much the exact opposite of her anti-contraception ideology. But the vitriol that people are spewing towards her is disturbing. It has been suggested that her decision to board a plane while in labor with a pre-term Down Syndrome baby was criminally negligent; this is not true. There are no laws on the books dictating that all pregnant women must go directly to the hospital once labor begins, just as there are no laws dictating that women in labor must have a C-section if it's the only way to get the baby out safely. Hell, if a woman in labor (high-risk pregnancy or no) wants to pick up some fast food and rent some movies from Blockbuster first, it's her right.

A woman in labor is still a woman first; her rights to bodily integrity don't end when her water breaks. A woman in labor has the right to do the same boneheaded shit that any non-pregnant person wants to do, whether we agree with her judgment or not, and that includes not getting one's ass to the doctor as soon as one should, or not taking one's medication, or not undergoing a surgery that will probably do more good than harm. If it's not criminally negligent for my non-pregnant coworker to procrastinate seeing her doctor about the pain in her knees for 8 months, it's not criminally negligent for Sarah Palin to put off going to the hospital for 12 hours.

I won't argue against anyone who says that her decision was not the best she could have made (although she claims that she had her doctor's blessing to do it), but it was not criminal. She broke no laws.

I've seen many people speculate that Sarah did what she did after her water broke because she wanted her special-needs son to die, which is vicious speculation at best. No one knows what was going through Sarah's head the day that her son was born, and we have no way of knowing, so I wish that people would just give her the benefit of the doubt. If she's pro-life enough not to abort a Downs Syndrome baby, then I'd like to assume that she's pro-life enough to not deliberately endanger him on the day of his birth.

Another speculation I've seen repeated a few times makes the assumption that Bristol is indeed Trig's mother. There are some who are claiming (without a lick of evidence, mind) that Bristol's father impregnated her, which is another reason why the family would want to keep the pregnancy secret: so that Todd Palin wouldn't be outed as an incestuous child rapist. This rumor is so upsetting that I don't even really know what to say about it. How can people so blithely suggest (with no reason to believe so other than they want dirt) that Todd is a rapist, that Bristol is a victim of incest, and that the best and most compassionate way to deal with it (if true) is to drag them both into the national spotlight and turn it into a media circus?

This entire hullabaloo bothers me because pregnant women are already all-too-often treated as children. You see it all the time. Pregnant women are frequently refused service when they try to buy a six-pack of beer or a bottle of wine (even if they never had any intention of drinking it themselves), are lectured in public by complete strangers who have decided that her decision to consume sushi or soft cheese is everyone's business, and are demonized for taking any perceived risks (whether they are actual risks or just unfounded paranoia) at all because a woman's failure to be the perfect mother (even before birth) is too often considered to mean that she can't be a good mother at all.

Imperfect mother = unfit mother. Despite the fact that it's common knowledge that no one is perfect, perfection is absolutely expected of the pregnant woman or mother. Any sign that she may not be putting forth 110% during every moment of her pregnancy (like the day she forgot her pre-natal vitamin or the time that she treated herself to a medium steak dinner) is a sign of absolute failure. I've seen people suggest that because of Sarah's Palin's decision to board that plane, she is an unfit mother and that all of her children should be taken from her. The fact that her children are healthy and seem to be pretty okay is besides the point; apparently the family needs to be broken up and the children displaced - to do what? To punish Sarah? It obviously wouldn't be done in the best interest of the children, so punishment is the only reason I can think of.

People have demanded that, along with her records proving her health, she should turn over any record of how many pregnancies, miscarriages, stillbirths, and abortions she's had. The public has a right to know exactly what's gone on in Sarah Palin's reproductive systems over the course of her lifetime, even if it's got nothing to do with her health or ability to serve as VP, should McCain win the election. I can't tell you how much this sense of entitlement to another woman's uterus horrifies me.

I understand that the stakes are high in this election. Trust me, I'm all too aware of how the outcome of this election may effect my life and the lives of those I love. But Sarah Palin's vagina is none of my business, it's none of your business, it's none of the world's business. Her ability to mother is not what's at question here (and the very fact that it was the first thing questioned after the VP announcement is telling; after all, I haven't heard of any witch hunts questioning the abilities of Obama, Biden, or McCain to be good fathers while they run the country, but there are PLENTY of people asking if Palin can be a national executive and a mother at the same time); her ability to to be Vice President needs to be the focus.

Sarah Palin's vagina, Sarah Palin's womb, and Sarah Palin's children all belong to Sarah Palin, unless proven otherwise. So let's just leave them out of the ruckus, shall we?

Copyright 2007-2008.